Thursday, April 30, 2009

plague


Because I'm still sick and Swine Flu seems to be the hot story these days, I figured I'd make something about a health-related crisis. This picture is based on this news story about a guy with a hot wife that had tuberculosis, and went on an airplane, therefore risking spreading it and making everyone freak out.  I remember this 2007 story because, during my senior year english class, my teacher tried to relate it to the book "White Noise"- I don't quite remember the connection because I wasn't paying terrific attention. 
-Speaking of being out of it, I really need to apologize for the last post (this cycle of bad posts followed by apology posts, then followed by redemption-attempt posts seems to be a theme of this blog). That picture is truly heinous and I hate it because it got blue glitter all over my bed- which I was too sick and lazy to clean up until now. I want to make many more posts to get it to the next page so I don't have to see it. Sadly, it's not the worst of my nyquil/dayquil-induced moments of poor judgement/stupidity. Here are some examples of foolish things (that I can remember) that I've done lately under the influence of those dangerous products:
1. I poured a shot of dayquil and left it on my desk to drink after I got some things together. But, while on the ground getting my keys from off my floor, my power cord knocked the dayquil off the desk and it spilled onto my hair/face. For some reason, I noticed but didn't really care and was too consumed by my dayquil-daze to clean myself up and went about my business. 
2. Later that day, I left my cell phone and a pack of gum on a table in the dining hall- which is bad because I've been so good lately about not losing stuff. I noticed they were missing about 2 hours later and  returned, hoping they were still there. For some reason, the gum was gone, but the phone remained just where I left it. I'm a little perplexed as to why my way-cool TMobile Dash isn't as alluring to thieves as a 1/2 full pack of Dentyne Ice. I mean, from afar, it looks kinda like a blackberry- that's gotta give it a street value of like $10, right?

Monday, April 27, 2009

at least this post has a pretty hyperlink



-Due to the lethal combination of having many assignments due tomorrow and a gross sore throat, I've produced a really lame post. I think this new scheduled posting scheme exacerbated the lameness. Luckily, unless I have Swine Flu, Thursday's post will be much better. Even if I have do have it and blog from my deathbed, things will definitely improve. 
-This picture illustrates how, when I'm sick, I'm too lazy to do things like wash brushes, get out colors other than blue and white, and stay focused- therefore producing subpar work. It's is a larger version of an abstract sketch I made of this boat with a plastic cover over it, that I saw while I was on a train this weekend. As I was finishing it, I kept thinking "this looks familiar", but I assumed that was just because it's based on something I saw in real life. But now I realize that it looks like this album cover- except not good on any level. Sorry, Islands!
-Even though it led to this monstrosity, that train ride was cool because I got to help this woman from Korea with her "Expanding English Proficiency" homework. It was surprisingly fun! She was working on the "Law Enforcement and Emergency Personnel" Chapter, which was really saucy to act out and taught me some practical colloquialisms that will surely impress any police, coroners, or private investigators that I have future interaction with. 

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Poverty, Ahoy!



-It's hard work following this new schedule! All these deadlines for publication make me feel like I'm writing a newspaper or something- a rather uninformative and odd newspaper made by one person that's written in a highly anecdotal and tangential style. 
-Actually, this newspaper comparison is kind of fitting, because this is primarily a "news-based" post. The actual art this week has been pretty unremarkable because I have a ton of work. For this post, I just quickly made a lady with huge boobs in a nautical outfit- very typical me.
-Here's the news: I have been officially accepted into the Studio Art Major! I'm allowing myself to be content and chill for a good chunk of time before I stress about my future of financial doom

Monday, April 20, 2009

happy birthday, goody!





-I must apologize for my last post. I was totally out of line and uncool- disrespecting both my Dad and 
***Heath Ledger***. 
-To make this blog a bit less random, I decided that, from now on, I'll be doing new posts on Mondays and Thursdays. There will probably be extra posts sometimes because, when I make something I like, I'm a nerd and can't wait to put it up. Right now, I'm not enjoying the schedule because I'm super busy and haven't made anything that I'm really into, so I'm just posting to follow my self-imposed rules. 
-Anyhow, here are two cartoon-style ladies. I'm trying to make my work a little less calculated and precise, so I did them really quickly. The one in the purple dress is definitely vulgar and maybe NSFW.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

resurrections/oh yoko






Here's a canal street knockoff/ bastard-offspring/counterfeit/sham version of an earlier picture called "Is It Done?".  I attempted this lame reproduction mostly because my portfolio is being reviewed, and I'm having a disturbingly hard time being separated from that picture. It seems like it had all the right aspects, and yet, it turned out so very wrong. 

Speaking of  debilitating emotional attachments to personal possessions, Goody (my sister), I hope your laptop survives! The only plus side of having a broken laptop I can think of is that, should you ever want to film a movie with a scene where a character goes psycho and destroys a laptop, you have the **perfect** prop. In the meantime, feel free to use my old-school iMac. You can rock out to all my favorite pre-2007 tunes, surf the internet at a leisurely pace, and play Snood!

Lastly, I made a quick picture of Jessica Simpson because, in the comments section of my last post, my Dad told me that I should draw pictures of "real men" and then listed Donovan McNabb, Andy Reid, and Yoko Romo as potential subjects.  Because I don't believe he considers Jessica Simpson to be a "real man", I think he thought "Yoko Romo" referred to Tony Romo.  My Dad is not too pop-culturally aware (which is probably a good thing). 
-Here's a story showing how little he knows about celebrities. Since I'm lazy, I just copied/pasted from my facebook wall-to-wall with my sister:

A commercial for The Dark Knight came on TV a few days ago and, since dad has infamous confusion regarding who Heath Ledger is and if his name is Heath or Keith, when I saw the joker i was like, "dad, this is Heath Ledger". He replied, "okay". Sounds simple? NOT QUITE because he then said "Isn't he doing something at Penn's Landing tonight?". I was quite taken aback and was like, "Dad, Heath Ledger is not capable of doing much, besides decomposing". But then I realized the insane source of his confusion. He mixed up JOHN LEGEND with heath ledger. oh dear!
*I added a google-search trend-chart to show that he was apparently not the only one that had Heath Ledger name confusion after he died. 

-Ah! I wrote so much. Unfortunately,  I'm sensing that, with blog posts, the quality of my artwork and the length of my writing are inversely proportional. Now I get to write a real paper! :)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

bloody guys/fishing for insults



-Here's picture with TWO guys. Yeah, they're all bloody and one has some sort of bullet wound, but they're still improving my boy/girl ratio.  I might do another, more painting-ish, version of this once I buy some red paint for the wound parts. Or, maybe I'll just be hardcore/economical and use my own blood.

-On a separate note, I LOVE<3 receiving blog comments. If I were offered either a bag containing candy and jewels or the guarantee of many comments, I don't know which I would choose. I would probably like getting comments even if they were just sequences of random letters, digits, and other keyboard symbols. Nonetheless, I'm a little disappointed that I haven't gotten real criticism- except from Rob, who has provided me with good feedback. I just feel lost and need someone to boss me around, so in the future, expect some sort of blog-project that addresses my need for direction. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

new sketchbook stuff



-As promised, here's the new stuff. Please note the first one is a male, and more are coming. 
-For some reason, the previous post says it was published on Saturday, even though I did it at like 2am last night- weird. I would love it if my blog had the power to create perpetual weekends! I could even write a screenplay about it, kind of like "Groundhog Day" mixed with some internet elements.
-However, I really hate this incorrect chronology because it makes me look way nerdy- blogging on a Saturday night?! I would only do that from an iphone, because everything's cool with an iphone.  Plus, if I'm wrongly arrested for some crime committed last night, I'm totally screwed because I don't have my blog to provide me with an alibi.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

too much pink in this post





-I've been on a little nomadic journey (school/nyc/home/nyc/school) for interviews and other random things for the last couple of days. I had to travel light, so I didn't bring any art materials-  sorry if the new picture is way boring. Now that I'm back, things will get better. Actually, I'll be making a new post tomorrow, once I take pictures of the new stuff at a normal hour. If only my camera were more discreet- even its silent setting is quite noisy.
-I'm sharing a random thing in an attempt to make this post less lame. My sister and I submitted this to failblog, but they're pretty selective, so I don't think it'll get posted. Luckily, I can put whatever I want on my blog...
-So, while I was home, my Dad was teaching my sister about parking by using our old Barbie cars. During this lesson, we couldn't help but notice the odd name given to our Barbie boat- "S.S. Anxiety". I admit, I don't know much about the nautical lifestyle, but that seems like a pretty strange name to give one's pleasure boat. Although, it sort of makes sense because I'd be pretty anxious if I were trying to sail the high seas in a boat with a blue and dangerously opaque windshield. 
-I checked 10000boatnames.com, and "S.S. Anxiety" is not on their very comprehensive list.  I browsed the names for a bit, and here are some clever titles for all you future boat-owners: Sea is for Cookie, Sea-nile, Sea++  (dad, a c++ computer programming reference! it's your sailing soulmate!), Slightbreeze.calm, and Serious Relaxation aka Six Pack Summer (my booze-cruise dream). I only searched the S-index because I wasn't that bored.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

no pranks


-Clearly, I didn't follow through with my promise to do pictures of men for my next post. I'll make them soon. This is just a spontaneous post, not a regularly-scheduled one. Plus, due to its lack of glitter and "girly" colors, this picture is quite masculine- if you subscribe to gender binary stereotypes. 
-This picture is an on-the-go thing that I worked on during class and my random spare time yesterday- kind of like glorified doodling. I'm treating it as a prototype for other pictures. 
-Mom, Dad, Grandparents(?), don't freak out. This isn't a picture of a million crosses. It's just a pattern (inspired by chemicals and decay) with no religious significance. Although, I feel like you guys would be much more upset if I became a Republican or a PC-user than if I converted to Christianity.
-Wow, it's the 25th post! This feels milestone-ish. This blog's youth is fading rapidly as it approaches adulthood. I guess the party's over and I can  look forward to a  future of the blog equivalents of responsibilities, reproduction, aging, decline, and death!