blog business

Things are looking up, here at S.I.A.B Inc. (What Recession?!!- As CEO, I deserve a bonus!)

First, I found that journal I lost awhile ago. It's cool when missing things show up and aren't {{{{lost forever}}}}

Also, my camera now has a memory card, so expect better photos--- potentially. 

I bought the memory card at Microcenter, which my Dad told me was this secret mecca of hot guys, or maybe it was "underappreciated" guys. I think he thinks the men there are neat because they're so computer-savvy that they go to a hardcore store to buy things, instead of just going to the mainstream Apple Store. However, he was wrong and there were NO hotties (not that I was truly on the prowl-or was I?). Although, there was a young-ish couple that looked really cute and happy. Maybe they met at <3microcenter<3! 

Here^ are some facially-oriented pictures. I kind of experimented with painting for these, which was interesting.  The second one scares me.

These 2 ladies will be the last women you'll see here for a bit. There is currently a 23:10 ratio of  females to males in my art on this blog (unless I factor in the likely mostly male sailors that are in those boat battle pictures-then, the tables have turned). 

Therefore, in order to alleviate this unnacceptable lack of gender balance,  I've made the executive decision to make pictures of some fine gentlemen. The forecast is in, and during my next post, it's gonna be *,*,*raining men*,*,*

spring break confessions/awkward ranting

I must confess, my spring break was rather dull. Aside from a very ill-fated "Tequila Day", there was not much craziness.

I knew my break was going to go a bit poorly because it began with two heartbreaking events. First, the Cowboys dropped Terrell Owens. For some crazy reason, I feel like TO and I are "two birds of a feather", and I carry a torch for him. I did actually want TO to leave Dallas because Romo is a failure, but I would prefer him joining the Giants (they need a wide receiver now that Plaxico shot himself in the leg) or the Ravens (I already support them, and they have Ray Lewis, who's maybe a murderer, so TO would not be the loose cannon of the team). However, the situation really sucks because I now need to follow the Buffalo Bills and I'll no longer experience win/win scenario games when the Cowboys play the Eagles. 

The second blow occurred when I was walking around my neighborhood to visit ***the most beautiful house in the world***. Aesthetically, it combines the look of a castle, melting, and the future- my favorite things! Honestly, it's my house-soulmate and I'd be willing to go all "House of Sand and Fog" in order to make it mine. Tragically, my Mom informed me that my dream house isn't actually a house at all. It's really an indoor pool that the owners of the house next door built because someone in their family had arthritis. I still think I could make it work somehow! I could empty out the water and have a loft-style layout going on. Plus, I'll obviously convince the owners to sell it to me with my genius and poetic argument that goes, "Don't be cruel. Let me live in your pool!"

*I added some pictures (deranged stalker shotz) of this glorious pool/house

Even though my own Spring Break was debauchery-free, I figured I should honor the sleazy principles of Spring Break by showcasing some pictures of slutty ladies. If one of them looks quite familiar, it's because I made it for my Dad's friend Rob, who wanted a more "healthy" looking version of a girl in an earlier picture. Hopefully, it's what he wanted. If not, maybe the other girl in this post or one of the hot chicks I'll be drawing tonight (before my workload increases exponentially!)will be a better match.

renaissance

Yeah, I haven't updated this thing for over a week, which is way lame because I've been on a staycation-style spring break- essentially, a life of zero responsibilities and extreme lethargy punctuated only by the occasional act of applying for summer internships.

Ultimately, I think this break from blogging was worth it because it led to the beginning of The Blog Renaissance. At my last post, this blog was in a period of decline- similar to the Medieval Period where artistic and intellectual pursuits were largely neglected. Actually, I kind of felt like I was living in medieval times because I was obsessively studying for my Sacred Arts of the Middle Ages midterm- a class where EVERYONE is an art history major and I'm the village idiot. Sometimes the studying was nice because I got to learn about the cathedral of my namesake ***Saint Lazare***. However, sometimes it was traumatizing because I had to confront my new, embarrassing fear of "Smiling Angel" statues. Seriously, look how creepy this thing is! Look at her arm, she's sort of making that triumphant elbow gesture as if she's like, "Fuck yes, I'm scaring you!"

I can think of no better piece to inaugurate The Blog Renaissance than a picture I've named "I'm Leaving You for your Brother Who is an Astronaut". It's pretty intellectual because it's based on my theory that women will often abandon their sanity and morals for the love of an astronaut. For example, consider the news story about that female astronaut who went on a crazed, diaper-wearing road trip and was willing to resort to violence to win back her astronaut boyfriend.

the low point of the blog? redemption soon?

*Note: This ^ is not art. It's documentation of the decline of my mental and physical health, at best. It's total narcissism (or self-indulgence!!!), at worst.

Even though I'm in the midst of awful midterms that are really showing me the error of my procrastinating ways, I figured I should honor my promise of making more frequent blog updates. Plus, I'm in this limbo where I'm too burnt out to study but I can't give into the temptation to take a nap (sleep is for the weak!), so blogging seemed like the best way to occupy this spare time. I'm in zombie-like, sleep deprived state, so my judgement and pride are really lacking- so please forgive me if this post is a total failure

^These are two versions of this swimsuit-wearing, retro lady. In times of stress, I've found that drawing provocatively dressed women can be quite calming because I'm strange. Sorry for the totally half-assed photography- I'M TOO TIRED TO CARE! 

^This is a new found-object art project I'm working on. It explores consumerism and Western society's value system- JUST KIDDING!!!! I just wanted to show off how pretty the trash from some of my old projects is. Ah, the hidden merits of using glitter! However, I'm a bit disturbed by my reluctance to throw this stuff out. Hoarding=super creepy. 

****Toxic****

-Despite the fact that I just wrote a novel (avoiding studying), I forgot to share my newest art-related anecdote! To prevent my aforementioned bloody knuckles from becoming infected, I tried to put Neosporin on them. Unfortunately, I mistakenly grabbed a tube of blue acrylic paint  and put that on my wounds instead!  More artistic essence- cool! 

-More importantly, I've concluded that, in order to become the art counterpart to Spiderman, I need to get bitten by a person (or spider!) that's part of a sculpture or painting inside a museum and magically comes to life. 

-here's an obligatory, filler drawing-another failed britney (she's my ultimate foe. curse her tricky face!)

blogging>>>>>>>midterms

-Here's a new type of abstract that I'm kind of into right now. They're kind of inspired by this artist, James Siena. He makes abstracts that are kind of meticulous, math-y, and process-driven, which is what I like too! If you're curious about my *casual art world reference*, check some of his stuff here.

-Yeah, they're way reminiscent of my old favorite pattern, but there's no glitter and there's new detailing- therefore progress! I guess it's like the typical pattern is my heroin, and this one is the methadone I'm using as a substitute while I try to get over my unhealthy addiction. 

-The bluish one has a circular hole in it because the paper was originally part of a divider in the 3-subject notebook I use for my classes. Come to think of it, this act of destroying important academic items in order to facilitate making time-wasting art is scarily symbolic of my general attitude towards school. 

-The quality of these photos is pretty horrid. I would have liked to use my scanner because these are small enough, but it's  being uncooperative and physically abusive. Seriously,  I tried unplugging and replugging it to see if it would start working again, and it gave so much resistance that I whacked my hand into a wall, giving myself  bloody knuckles, which I'm actually happy about because they look pretty badass. 

-I think over my spring break I'll probably make a BIG version of one of these and scan the old ones. I know you're probably thinking... "Gosh, Jodi, I know college spring breaks are supposed to be a time for crazy debauchery, but with your plans for both scanning and monotonous art projects, things might get WAY TOO WILD!" However, you can totally relax. Having spent New Years Eve 2009 at a party with a 1:1 ratio of people over 70 years old to people under 70 years old, I can handle this. At said party, I even managed to drunkenly explain to my Grandmother how one of CNN's correspondents was once arrested for possessing meth and gay sex toys in Central Park.